You
can find a this incredible article with full-sized images, galleries
and stories plus more breast biting and
culinary fun, as well as
hundreds of
other original stories, over 20,000 other exclusive photographs,
video clips, and much more erotic tit
and nipple torture, when you subscribe to Darker
Pleasures.
If there's one thing
I've learned over the years, it's tit torture takes many forms.
One of my favorites, and one shared by hundreds of thousands
of others (on both the giving and receiving end) is breast
biting. I've written several stories that have included
everything from nibbling to full-on feasts, and they're without a doubt
the ones I've received
the most comments about. In my stories, tits and nipples are
snacked on by
vampires
and humans
alike. Other authors have included just about every other
creature, actual or otherwise, as the featured biter of breasts.
As for the tits du jour, they've ranged from real flesh and blood to
holographic, cloned,
android, or otherwise. From contemporary, to futuristic, to
Dolcett, the settings provide a backdrop for fantasies that'd probably
get someone in big trouble if they tried it for
real.
This fictional article, and the accompanying recipes, are
written for one of those
worlds. Take your pick. I've just supplied the
material. It's up to you to make these fantasies your own.
Just
remember, I'm not suggesting you try any of this at home. If you
wanna do some safe fantasy role-play using one of these as inspiration,
knock
yourself out, but if you decide to really try any of this, you're on
your own.
I haven't made myself absolutely clear, this is nothing more than fantasy.
The article and recipes are fictional - for entertainment only.
The pictures are posed and taken with the consent of paid models.
Anything that looks cooked comes as a result of Photoshop. No
breasts were harmed as a result of this stuff. If you don't find
it fun, go find something you do. 'nuff said.
Now, as they
say in the best of restaurants... Bon Appetite. ~Matt Nicholson~
Breasts.
Over the centuries, man (and woman) has seen these puppies from
three perspectives. The first was, obviously, to nourish
kids. Some time soon after, they became objects of lust -
something to gaze at when it was safe, to
squeeze and fondle when you could, and to fantasize about when you
couldn't grope or gawk. The most recent way we've viewed a lovely
pair of tits is as a culinary
delicacy, whether
baked, fried, or barbecued.
Oddly enough, the sexual perspective and the dining perspective are
often seen as mutually
exclusive.
Though the sex appeal of the breast might make a person curious
enough
to try one for dessert, they're almost always served like
any cut of domestic meat rather than combined with good sex for a much
more enjoyable experience. Dr.
Butcher, a world famous chef specializing in these things takes a rather diagnostic approach in
discussing breasts at the dinner table:
"The breasts have, throughout human culinary history, been one of the
most tantalizing morsels of the female anatomy. Unfortunately
some modern gourmets are under the mistaken impression that although
lovely to look at and fun to play with, breast meat is of little
culinary value. The dismissal of these prize globes of meat as
being uneatable globs of fat and tendons is, to be charitable,
extremely shortsighted! ...They are, in fact, quite
delectable when properly prepared."
The doctor goes on to talk in more clinical terms about how breasts are
constructed, comparing the best parts to sweetbreads. While I
won't argue with much of what he says (and the term
"sweetbreads" is a great way of referring to the good stuff)
seeing breasts as
just cuts of meat is only half of what makes them special. For my
recipes, I make certain to keep them attached to a
health, happy, breathing body - both to make sure they're as fresh as
possible and to take advantage of what makes breasts so sensual.
Because
of this, I'll discuss a few things you'll need to take care of before
starting any
recipe where breasts are the main
course.
SELECTING THE
PERFECT MEAL
|
A pair of firm,
chilled, "C" cups - in our opinion, the perfect breasts for
combining
dining and "dessert."
|
When selecting a pair of breasts, it's
important to balance sex
appeal
with culinary
practicality. Most breasts have about the same amount of
"sweetbread," regardless of their overall size. This means the
larger
the breast, the more fat that's inside of them. While big tits
often
turn people on,
properly preparing a "D" cup takes a lot more ingredients and
time than the same recipe would for an "A"
cup. The recipes you'll find here are all prepared on the
"C"
cup scale, which is usually more than sufficient for two diners.
If you like 'em bigger or smaller, adjust your ingredients and cooking
time to scale.
There's just
something to be said for biting into a pert, hard, juicy,
|
nipple and aureole, and we've gone
to great lengths to figure out how to keep them that way until
they're served. If your sexual appetite leans toward flaccid or
puffy, feel free to select tits that best please you, but keep in
mind that
our recipe may not work exactly as intended. If you're like me
and prefer
hard nipples
and aureoles, make sure to test them by blowing across a wet
nipple, or brushing it with ice to make sure it hardens the way you
like.
PREPARING FOR
PREPARATION
It should go without saying
that prepping and cooking the perfect pair
can be a painful process, at least for that perfect pair. While
the lovely ladies we practice on have been well coached for the big
meal - with plenty
of training to help
them turn all the sensations that come with having their breasts cooked
into an orgasmic experiences - yours may not be
quite as ready. Even the
most pain tolerant of women can be pushed beyond what they
expected.
While thrashing, naked women may look really
hot, they
make
preparing and cooking their breasts a chore. Therefore, tying
your meal to keep her still is really a good idea.
Regardless of how
they're
cooked, eventually, you'll want her
face up so you can get to all the good stuff, whether its for eating or
sex, or both. She may start face up, or just end up that way,
but in
either case you'll want to lay over a
serving table with her arms pulled directly back to the sides of her
head, wrists tied down over the back of the table toward the
ground. Tie her ankles in similar fashion, legs spread
eagle, bent at the knee and pulled back beneath the table.
|
While you
can easily get to the best parts
of this young lady, we recommend that
you tie them up totally naked.
|
For
face down cooking, tying her arms
behind her, wrists and elbows
together, is important. Adding her ankles to the mix will
definitely keep her still.
For face down cooking, whether it's roasting,
smoking, or something else, nothing beats a
good hogtie.
|
In any case, a hogtied dinner is usually a
guarantee
of a successful recipe.
Even with proper
binding, the bearer of your dinner or dessert may not
want to be completely aware during the process, or there may be advance
concern
about
her ability to handle it. Stuffing
her mouth with fruit or a wad of cloth might keep her quiet, and they
make for some wonderful ambiance. But, while gags can help, there's absolutely
nothing wrong with
giving her something to help take the edge off - in fact, I suggest it.
When you
do, at the risk
of sounding somewhat scientific, you
|
need to use general anesthesia
because local procedures
will affect the flavor of the breast.
While alcoholic beverages works
wonders, high concentrations in the blood might flavor your meal.
If that's not an issue, and she drinks, the bar is your friend.
Otherwise, some other sedative would be a better idea.
Another way of keeping your meal on the table simply involves giving a
little of what you're going to get. Clip a battery operated
vibrator onto her clit, or slide a high-quality vibrator into her pussy
and tape it in. Not only will this keep her distracted and, in
many cases, multi-orgasmic, but the free flow of hormones through the
bloodstream add a subtle, pleasant flavor to the meal. In most
cases her breasts will tend toward staying slightly swollen and the
nipples and aureoles hardened, both enhancing the meal. |
Caught at the
moment of orgasm. Given
the near-doneness of those breasts, there is a lot
to be said to a well
placed clit vibrator.
|
DE-FATTING AND FILLING
Even defatted and filled, properly
prepared, breasts still jiggle after they're done, with
hard nipples that cry out to be bitten.
|
Once she's loosened up, or
asleep, depending on what everyone wants, it's time to get her breasts
ready for cooking. The hard part about cooking tits on the hoof,
as it were, is doing it in a way that leaves them equally attractive,
jiggly, pert, and enjoyable as they were before they were cooked.
While butchered
breasts can be skinned, de-fatted, onad otherwise prepared
without your needing to worry about any of that, our recipes require a
lot more finesse. Because of that, the
chefs at Darker
Pleasures have spent
countless hours studying breast anatomy, developing special techniques,
and
creating unique tools that
will let you make the main ingredient into a gourmet treat while
still leaving it enjoyable for your sexual tryst. |
The first thing you want to do is make sure the
breasts are clean and smooth. Like any other
fine meal, there's nothing more distracting than a hair between the
teeth, even if it's a very fine one. Remove any peach fuzz
by completely shaving both breasts. Use plain, unscented shaving
cream
and
a sharp razor. Using shaving cream instead of soap insures you'll
avoid unsightly razorburn. Once both breasts are shaved, wipe
them down
with a piping hot, damp towel then ice rinse them with cold water.
If your recipe calls for massaging or
basting the breasts so that some ingredients will be
absorbed into the flesh, whisking the breasts in advance will open the
pores and allow more flavor to be absorbed.
|
Shaving and washing the breasts insures
that you won't have anything between
your teeth but delicious, fun
flesh. |
We agree. Why butcher such a beautiful breast when
you can
have your cake and eat it too?
|
We recommend using a
12 to 18 inch long, fine horsehair whip, beating the flesh lightly
using
a
circular motion until the breasts are a moderate to bright pink.
Once the outside of your
meal
is ready, it's time to look at the inside. Most breast recipes
call for
removing the fatty layer between the "sweetbreads" and the skin, or for
removing both the skin and the fat. There are two problems with
skinning
breasts. First, a skinned
breast just really isn't very sexy to look at. Second, when
properly fixed, a little marbling does wonders for the flavor - and the
skin and nipple are delicious. When combined
with a good fucking, eating them can be one of the most orgasmic
experiences you, and in many cases your meal, can experience. So,
the trick is to remove most of the fat without making the breasts look
like they've just been autopsied, and the nipples nothing more than a
dark, flat circle on top. |
You do this by melting most of
the breast fat
that fills the areas between the sweetbread area and the skin and then
sucking it out. This way you'll leave just enough, along with the
fat pockets inside
the glandular areas, to provide good marbling. To do this, we've
developed a
cupped device that injects the breast with saline steam just
beneath the skin through hundreds of fine needles. The steam
melts the fat and then the fatty liquid is sucked out through
the same needles. This process also has the added advantage of
pre-steaming the inside of the breast, making it more tender.
For at-home preparation,
boiling saline water and a very large gauge syringe or a flavor
injector can be used to the same effect. Insert the needle into
the breast, just past the skin,
and
inject the boiling water. Do this in a dozen or so places, spaced
out around the entire breast. Be
careful to stay a couple of inches from the aureole so as not to scald
the nerves and vessels supplying them.
The breast will swell with the added liquid, but, once
you're done and begin removing the yellowish liquid, it will shrink,
resembling a combination of the lovely tit you began with and a
large
raisin, depending on how much fat was removed. Not to worry, by
the time you're done, it'll look as good as new, but with some other
tasty treat inside. |
We suggest you
avoid the defatting
breasts through the nipples and aureoles like
this picture shows.
Doing it this way
risks damaging the nerves that make them
react so
well.
|
Refilling through the nipple or aureole is
fine as long as your filler is cool. It goes without saying that
colder fillings make for more enjoyable effects.
|
Once the breast has been
defatted and
the recipe calls for filling, fill flavor injecting
syringe with the filling of choice. Insert the needle just
beneath the skin, into the
defatted area, and inject 1/4 of the filling into the breast.
Repeat the same procedure three additional times,
injecting from equidistant locations around the breast, avoiding the
nipple and aureole area if the filling is hot.
If
the breast doesn't fill out sufficiently to replace the fat lost during
the de-fatting process, inject more of the filling until the breast
appears proportional. Repeat with
like amounts of filling
injected into the opposite breast. Most "C" cup breasts will use
from one to two cups of filling. |
Now,
a quick note about nipples.
As I've already said, we gone to great lengths to come up with
preparation techniques that preserve the reactive nature of the nipples
and aureoles. These delicacies are very porous, and will absorb a
surprising amount of flavoring.
Using a regular hypodermic syringe, you can inject flavored liquids and
marinades into them until the liquid actually bubbles and flows from
all parts of the spongy meat. The colder the flavor, the firmer
and more chewy the flesh gets, making them worth every moment of time
you take to make sure they can still get that way. |
Inject the nipples and aureoles with the
cold flavoring of your choice for a really delectable treat. |
HOME COOKING METHODS
Here, we've just started cooking one
breast with a single, high-intensity over-
head cooking lamp.
|
Much
like some of the more fashionable
oriental restaurants, Darker Pleasures uses specially designed
combination cooking and serving tables equipped with padded restraints
and a variety of recessed, removable
inserts that make cooking breasts easy regardless of the cooking
style. In many cases we cook
face-up using
overhead heating
lamps that can warm or cook at temperatures up to 450°F.
For people
that can't
afford a gadget like this one, ingenuity is
the key. In some cases, your meal might have the training and
ability to hold herself still regardless of how her breasts are being
cook. In most cases, she won't. Because of this, we suggest
you either make or buy two tables. |
The first should be a
sturdy,
waist-high butcher-block style table that's about 4' long and capable
of holding any woman you might choose to serve. Cut
a rectangle from the table that's set about where a pair of succulent
breasts would be if she were laying face-down with her head still over
the head of the table. Secure four metal supports from
beneath the table that will hold the removed insert so that it can be
replaced when necessary.
The
second is a smaller table that will fit beneath the first. It
should be strong
enough to support whatever cooking device you'll need to use plus at
least part of the weight of your dinner girl.
|
We also
recommend
making or buying several rectangular wooden boards that can be used as
spacers to raise any cooking devices
that you set on the smaller table
to the perfect height. You'll
want to buy a high quality
dual burner, a deep fryer, an adjustable grill, and a sturdy
cooler. For
those of you looking to create frozen desserts, a small liquid nitrogen
tank. Once you have all
these things, a little practice
will get you ready to make any of our recipes with a genius
that'll rival our own.
Keep
in mind, unlike other cooking methods, the object of this game is to
prepare the breasts in a way that weaves the dining into a memorable
sexual encounter. It's my opinion that, to do this, only the
breasts should be cooked, leaving your companion otherwise completely
natural and responsive. If you're using any cooking technique
that could affect other parts of the torso or upper body (such as
grilling or baking), I'd suggest protecting everything except the
breasts with a high quality aluminum foil, but it's up to you to make
that call.
|
Unless your dinner guest has
nerves of steel like this beauty, you'll need a sturdy table with
restraints to help get her through the process.
|
SERVING THE YOUNG LADY
While I'd rather tear into something this
mouth-watering turkey-leg-style, to each
his or her own as long as you enjoy.
|
As I've pretty much said,
butchered breasts are pretty much nothing more than attractive cuts of
meat. No matter how pretty they look on the platter, they're
still going to be sliced and served. Since the whole idea behind
our recipes is to be able to enjoy the whole tamale, sexually and
otherwise, you'll find that we encourage our patrons to
eat with gusto if they like. Like tearing into a turkey leg
that's been roasted to perfection or chomping into a ripe, candied
apple, there's nothing more sensual to some diners (and dinners) than
to bite directly into a juicy tit or tear into a candied nipple, either
before, during, after, or without sex. That said, carving into a
freshly baked breast has its own erotic appeal for some - again, either
before, during, after, or without a
soul-wrenching orgasm. |
Now is where the real fun
starts, so I'll shut up and bring you the
recipes.
|
DR. BUTCHER'S FAMOUS
BREASTS ALICIA
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 1 tablespoon
oil
- 3 leek, cut in fine strips
- 3 rib of celery,
chopped
- 3 small carrots,
chopped
- 3 small green
pepper
- Juice of 2
lemons
- 8 shallots, finely chopped
- Salt &
pepper
- 3 cup of
dry wine
- 3 teaspoon
cornstarch
- 3 egg yolk
- 2 tablespoons virgin olive oil
|
Thoroughly coating breasts with oil
to begin Dr.
Butcher's Famous
Breasts Alicia
|
Heat the oil in a skillet, and cook the leek, celery,
carrot, green
pepper and shallot until lightly colored.
Add 1/2 cup of wine to the pan. Thoroughly coat the breasts with
virgin olive oil then season them with salt and
pepper to taste. Lay your guest face down with her defatted,
unfilled breasts on the vegetables
so that the chest seal around the edges of the skillet to serve as a
cover, and simmer over low heat for 30 minutes.
Remove the breasts and drain the vegetables, reserving
both vegetables and liquid.
Measure 1/2 cup of the liquid, add the remaining wine, and
place in a sauce pan over moderate heat. Mix the cornstarch with
a tablespoon of water and blend into the liquid. Simmer until
slightly thickened.
Puree vegetables and trimmings in an
electric blender and add to the thickened liquid. Beat the egg
yolks lightly, stir a little of the hot sauce into them, then return to
the pan and cook slowly, stirring constantly, until the sauce
thickens. Do not boil. Add the lemon juice, taste, and
correct the seasonings.
Fill the breasts with the pureed vegetable sauce then pour the
remaining sauce directly over the breasts. Garnish with chopped
parsley.
|
NAUGHTY NICKI-INSPIRED
CALABRIAN BREAST PIZZA
Ingredients:
Dough:
- 2 1/2 cups flour
- 1/2 teaspoon active dry yeast
- 1/2 cup grated Parmesan or Romano cheese
- 3 eggs, beaten
- 2 tablespoons dry white wine
- pinch of salt
- 2 tablespoons olive oil or lard
|
A succulent breast,
slightly over-
filled with tomato juices for
Naughty Nicki-inspired
Calabrian Breast Pizza
|
Topping:
- 1 10 oz can whole peeled tomatoes, drained
- 1/2 teaspoon very finely minced garlic
- 1/2 inch piece hot red pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon each basil and oregano
- 3 tablespoons olive oil or lard
- 1 teaspoon salt
Filling:
- 1/2 inch piece hot red pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon each basil and oregano
- 3 tablespoons olive oil or lard
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 3 16 oz cans tomato sauce
In a mixing bowl, combine flour, cheese, well beaten eggs
and salt. Mix dough with hands, stirring in enough white wine
mixed with warm water to make a smooth dough. Cover bowl and set
aside for 30 - 45 minutes.
Note: This dough is traditionally made without yeast and so it is
normal for it not to rise as much as you might expect for a standard
pizza dough.
Thoroughly mix filling ingredients and fill breasts. Bake
breasts with an overhead cooking lamp at 350°F for
approximately 20 - 30 minutes.
Press the dough onto the breasts using the tips of fingers to flatten
it, allowing the hardened nipple to poke through (it will act as an
anchor peg until the dough hardens).
Spread a layer of tomato on top, leaving a one inch margin along edges.
Sprinkle with hot pepper, 3 tablespoons melted lard or olive oil, salt,
pepper, garlic, oregano and basil.
Bake with overhead cooking lamp at 450°F for
10 minutes. As pizza begins to brown around the edges, reduce
heat to 350°F and bake until cheese is bubbly (a total of 20-30
minutes).
|
TRADITIONAL GRILLED
BREASTS
Ingredients:
- 2 fat-in breasts
- 2 cup vegetable oil
- 4 cups lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage
- 2 cup soy sauce
- 3 teaspoons garlic powder
|
Preparing to serve a
lightly cooked
pair of Traditional Grilled Breasts
|
Combine the oil,
lemon-lime beverage, soy sauce and garlic powder. Stir thoroughly
until you have a good mixture. If you're not using a cooking/serving
table, put the marinade in a shallow, oblong dish set inside an
ice-filled cooler and have your meal lay face down in some manner so
that her breasts are somewhat flattened and surrounded by the marinade
in the dish. Refrigerate in this manner overnight.
Again, without a cooking/serving table, laying the breasts directly
onto a grill will work fine. We suggest setting the grill at
table height so that the breasts can be pressed flat for even cooking,
rather than laying them on the grill and letting them cook from the
underside. Barbecue them slowly - don't overcook - basting them
every few minutes. Cook until juices run clear when the breast is
poked with a sharp fork. Discard any remaining marinade after use.
|
COAL-ROASTED HOLIDAY
BREASTS
Ingredients:
- 2 fat-in
breasts
- 2/3
cup
salt
- 1/2
cup
plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar
- 1/2
cup
black
pepper, cracked
- Pinch
dried thyme
- 33
cloves
- 13
allspice,
cracked
- 3
bay
leaves
- 13
juniper
berries, crushed
- Water
- Butter
|
Beginning to roast a pair
of Coal-Roasted Holiday
Breasts
|
Bind breasts
tightly around the base so that they bulge and begin to darken slightly.
Combine salt, herbs
(including 13 cloves) and water in a pan and bring to a boil, then
simmer
for 10 minutes. Allow the mixture to cool. Using either a
cooking and serving table with the cooling insert or a home made set up
that includes a large pot set inside a cooler and surrounded by ice,
submerge the breasts in cold brine solution. Refrigerate 6 hours
or
overnight.
Remove
breasts from brine and pat dry with
paper towels.
Melt the butter.
Baste
the breasts with melted butter. Suspend over open coals.
Roast with overhead lamp set at
at 450°F for 45
minutes. Reduce
heat to 325°F and roast until
meat thermometer inserted in center of the breast registers
160°F to 165°F, about 2
hours. Remove from heat and set aside
20
minutes before enjoying.
Deep frying breasts instead
of baking them has become increasingly popular in recent years.
If you prefer this to baking, fry the breasts in oil that has been
preheated to 365°F - 375°F. Cook to an internal
temperature of 170°F.
|
CREME
BRULEE
BREASTS WITH BERRIES
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 3
1/2
cups
whipping cream
- 1
vanilla
bean, split
lengthwise
- 3
large egg
yolks
- 1
1/3
cup
plus
6 teaspoons
sugar
- 1/2
cup of
distilled
water
- 2
cups
mixed berries
(such as raspberries, blueberries, and sliced strawberries)
- 4
tablespoons (packed)
golden brown sugar
- 1
tablespoon
raspberry
liqueur (optional)
|
Caramalizing a variant of
Creme
Brulee Breasts with Berries
|
Special
equipment:
- Dry
ice
- Cooking
or
caramelizing
torch
- Large
hypodermic
basting syringe
- Horsehair
whip
- Baking
lamp
- Aluminum
foil
Preparation:
Mix 2
tablespoons of
brown of sugar with ½ cup distilled water. Heat on burner
until sugar is thoroughly melted. Remove from burner.
Place
cream in heavy
medium saucepan. Scrape in seeds from vanilla bean; add bean. Bring to
simmer over medium heat. Whisk yolks and 1 1/3 cup sugar in medium
metal
bowl to blend. Set bowl over saucepan of simmering water (do not allow
bowl to touch water). Whisk vigorously until yolk mixture is pale
yellow
and hot to touch, about 3 minutes. Gradually whisk in hot cream
mixture;
discard vanilla bean. Brink mixture to a boil then cover and
reduce heat to simmer.
Whip
breasts with horsehair
whip until pink, using light to moderately hard strokes.
Remove
1/3 of creme mixture and place in refrigerator to cool.
Refill
the breasts with the
remaining hot, creme mixture.
Once both
breasts have been filled, cover the
nipples and aureoles with two layers of aluminum foil to protect them
from baking.
Bake
breasts with an overhead
baking lamp set to 350°F until they are a light,
golden-brown and
glistening,
typically twenty to thirty minutes depending on the ambient room
temperature and size of the breasts.
Once the
breasts are done, remove the cold cream mixture
from the refrigerator and put it into a pastry bag. Squeeze a
thin coat evenly onto breasts (hand
application
is also acceptable) once the breasts have cooled a bit.
Thoroughly
coat the whites of the breast with cold, sweet creme.
Remove
the aluminum foil from the nipples and aureoles. Fill
syringe with sugar
marinade and inject into nipple and aureole. Make injections about 1/2”
apart around aureole and directly into nipple. Don’t skimp on this
procedure.
The more liquid that is injected, the more flavorful this part of the
dessert will
be.
If
properly protected during baking, the nipples and aureoles should still
react to cold. Chill with dry ice until hard, brushing just above
the flesh to avoid burning
(wear gloves to avoid burning your fingers).
Sprinkle
sugar over
each breast, adding extra to the nipples and aureoles. With a
caramelizing
torch, flame sugar until it caramelizes, moving flame
evenly
for browning, about 2 minutes per breast. Let cool.
Meanwhile,
toss berries,
brown sugar, and raspberry liqueur, if desired, in large bowl.
Spoon
berry
mixture atop breasts and serve immediately.
|
STRAWBERRY-RHUBARB
GLAZED BREASTS
WITH
CHILLED FRUIT MEDLEY
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 1
box
fruit flavored gelatin mix
- 2
red
apples, cored
and cut into 1 – 1 1/2 inch cubes
- 2
large
bananas, sliced
- 1
12-ounce
can mandarin
oranges
- 1/2
pound green
seedless grapes
- 2
kiwi
fruit, peeled
and sliced
- 1/2
pound
blueberries
- 4
cups
1/2-inch pieces
fresh rhubarb (from about 1 1/2 pounds)
- 8
strawberries, hulled,
halved
- 3/4
cup sugar
- 2/3
cup plus
3 tablespoons
water
- 2
tablespoons fresh
lemon juice
- 1
1/2
tablespoons
cornstarch
|
Chilling the breasts
with frozen
towels for Strawberry-Rhubarb Glazed
Breasts with Chilled Fruit Medley |
Special
equipment:
- 2
pre-frozen wet bath towels
- Unflavored
dental floss
or similar strong, thin cord
- 10” x
14”
rectangular
plastic bowl, cut as described in preparation
Preparation:
Completely
prepare gelatin as instructed on the box. Before refrigerating,
set 1/2 cup of the liquid gelatin aside. Leave the rest
refrigerated.
Wrap breasts in pre-frozen towel to begin chilling.
Combine
rhubarb, strawberries,
sugar, 2/3 cup water, and lemon juice in large saucepan. Bring to boil,
stirring until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat and simmer until rhubarb is
tender, about 9 minutes. Remove from heat; let cool 10 minutes. Pour
mixture
through strainer set over 4-cup measuring cup, pressing on solids to
extract
1 1/2 cups liquid. Return 1 1/2 cups liquid to same saucepan; bring to
simmer over medium heat. Whisk cornstarch and 3 tablespoons water to
blend
in small bowl; add to liquid in saucepan; whisk constantly until
mixture
boils and thickens, about 6 minutes. Pour glaze into small bowl; chill
until cold, about 2 hours.
Using the unchilled gelatin, prepare nipple balls (unfrozen) as per the
recipe "Frozen Nipple Balls" noted below. Remove chilled gelatin
from the
refrigerator. Refill the breasts with the gelatin.
Wrap each breast several times around the
base
in similar fashion, again making certain that the binding is secure
enough
that the breasts appear rounded and begin to darken. Prepare a
10” x 14”
rectangular plastic bowl by measuring the distance between the center
of the nipple balls
and cutting circular holes slightly larger than the diameter of each
bound
breast on the bottom of the bowl. Set the bowl aside. Once your measurements
for
the bowl are taken, re-wrap them in the second frozen towel.
While the
bound breasts
and nipples darken and chill, wash, peel and slice the apples, bananas
and kiwi as necessary. Thoroughly mix the prepared fruits in a
bowl
with the mandarin oranges and washed grapes and blueberries.
Place
the bowl in the refrigerator to chill.
When
breasts are a deep purple in color and nipples are a deep raspberry to
blueberry-colored,
place the bottom of the cutout bowl over the breasts so that they are
inside
the upright bowl.
Remove
the chilled
fruit from the refrigerator and pour evenly around and over the
breasts.
Remove
the glaze from
the refrigerator and pour over fruit, breasts, and nipples.
|
TRIPLE-CHERRY
BREASTS JUBILEE
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 1
1-pound
bag frozen
dark sweet cherries, thawed
- 6
cups
plus
1 tablespoon
cherry juice
- 1
1/2
cup
dried tart
cherries
- 3
tablespoons sugar
- 2
vanilla
beans, split
lengthwise
- 1
tablespoon
arrowroot
- 1/4
cup thin
matchstick-size
strips orange peel (orange part only)
- 1/3
cup
kirsch (clear
cherry brandy)
- 1
quart
vanilla or
cherry-vanilla-swirl ice cream
|
Adding ace cream to a
pair of
home-made breast bowls for Triple-Cherry
Breasts Jubilee
|
Special
equipment:
- 10” x
14”
rectangular
plastic bowl, cut as described in preparation
Preparation:
Place
sieve over bowl.
Add thawed cherries; let drain. Pour drained juices into heavy medium
skillet
(set cherries aside). Mix 6 cups cherry juice, dried cherries and sugar
into same skillet. Scrape in seeds from vanilla beans; add beans. Boil
sauce
until reduced to 5 cups, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes.
Mix
arrowroot with remaining 1 tablespoon juice in small bowl. Whisk into
sauce.
Boil until thickened, about 1 minute. Discard vanilla bean. Mix in
drained
cherries and orange peel.
Prepare a
10” x 14”
rectangular plastic bowl by measuring distance between the nipples and
cutting circular holes slightly larger than the diameter of each breast
on the bottom of the bowl. Place the bottom of the cutout bowl
over
the breasts so that they are inside the upright bowl.
Refill
the breasts with the hot sauce liquid.
Scoop ice
cream into
cutout bowl, around and over the breasts. Spoon remainder of sauce over
breasts and
ice cream.
Heat
kirsch in skillet
over low heat. Remove from heat. Carefully ignite kirsch with match.
Pour
flaming liquor over all.
|
PEANUT
BUTTERED
NIPPLE SMORES
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 4
large
roasting marshmallows
- 3
large flat
chocolate
bars or 4 1 – 1 1/2" squares of chunk chocolate
- 6
large
graham crackers
- 3
cups
chilled peanut
butter (smooth or crunchy to taste)
- 4
cups
(approximate) chocolate sauce
|
Carving an outdoor variation of
Peanut
Buttered Nipple Smores
|
Special
equipment:
- 2 6”
stainless steel
skewers
- Cooking
or
caramelizing
torch
Preparation:
Refill the
breasts with chocolate sauce.
Generously
coat each
breast with peanut butter, making certain the nipples and aureoles are
covered.
Using
a sharp 6” stainless steel skewer, thread 1/ 4 of a chocolate bar, or
one piece of chunk chocolate onto skewer. Follow that with one
marshmallow.
Next run the skewer through the thick of one aureole at the base of the
nipple. Follow with another marshmallow and another piece of
chocolate.
Repeat the same procedure on the opposite breast.
Break
remainder of chocolate bars over each breast, spreading equally across
the mounds.
Melt the
chocolate and peanut butter on the whites of the breasts thoroughly
with a cooking
torch until the mixture bubbles. Heat the marshmallows until the
insides become molten and the
outsides
are crusty brown and the chocolate has softened. If darker
marshmallow
skins
are desired, continue to roast until marshmallows are charred to
taste.
Using 1/4
– 1/2 of
a graham cracker on each side of chocolate, sandwich the chocolate,
marshmallows,
peanut butter and aureole/nipple together. Hold the smore
together
and slide the skewer out. Adjust the graham cracker down to
better
sandwich the dessert. Repeat on the opposite side. Eat the
smores sandwiches and then enjoy the rest of the recipe.
|
CHOCOLATE-COVERED
FRUIT KABOBS
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 1
banana
- 1
apple
- 4
strawberries (or other fruits to taste)
- 6
cups
chocolate syrup
- 1
can
whipped cream
|
In the final stages of
preparing
Chocolate-covered
Fruit Kabobs
|
Special
equipment:
- 2 6"
stainless steel skewers
Preparation:
Refill
the breasts with chocolate syrup. Place breasts in
ice-filled cooler to chill.
Cut
apples, bananas, and any other large fruit you choose into bite-sized
pieces
Insert a
skewer through each nipple at the base so that the nipple is
centered. Alternately thread fruit pieces onto either side of the
nipple.
Pour 1
cup of chocolate syrup over each breast, coating the fruit. Top
with whipped cream.
|
GRENADINE
CANDIED
BREASTS
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 2
cups
granulated sugar
- 1
cup
grenadine syrup
- 2/3
cup
light corn
syrup
- 4
cups
caramel
Special
equipment:
- Unflavored
dental floss,
or similar strong, thin cord
- 1
pre-frozen, wet bath towel
|
A perfect pair of
ready-to-serve
Grenadine
Candied Breasts
|
Preparation:
Put
caramel in a saucepan and slowly heat until it is thoroughly melted.
Refill
the breasts with molten caramel.
Bind the
breasts tightly
at the base with dental floss so that the nipples and aureoles are
stretched
tight and breasts begin to color, then wrap the breasts in the
pre-frozen towel and allow to cool.
Combine
the sugar,
grenadine, and light corn syrup in a saucepan and bring to a simmer.
Stir
until the sugar is dissolved, brushing down any crystals on the sides
of
the pan with a pastry brush dipped in warm water. When the sugar is
dissolved,
bring to a boil until the syrup reaches 285°F on a candy
thermometer,
the soft-crack stage.
Set the
pan over –
not in – boiling water. Dip the breasts, one at
a time, into the melted candy, coating each evenly with the glaze. When
you have coated each breast once, repeat the process with a second
coat. Serve once candy hardens.
|
KAHLUA
MOUSSE
BREASTCICLES
Ingredients:
- 2
defatted
breasts
- 14
ounces
sweetened
condensed milk
- 8
ounces
cream cheese
- 2
tablespoon. instant
coffee and 1 teaspoon hot water
- 1/4
cup
sugar and
1/4 c. butter
- 2/3
cup
chocolate
syrup
- 4
cups
plus 4 tablespoons of
Kahlua
- 4
tablespoons Grand
Marnier
- 1
cup
whipping cream
- 1
can
aerosol whipped
cream
- 2
maraschino
cherries
- 6
cups
of ice
|
Substituting the
horsehair whip
with a suede flogger works fine for Kahlua Mousse
Breastcicles
|
Special
equipment:
- Unflavored
dental floss,
or similar strong, thin cord
- Cheesecloth
- 2
stainless
steel
needles or pins
- 2
empty
coffee cans,
open at both ends
- Duct
tape
- Horsehair
whip
- Styrofoam
cooler and dry ice OR cryogenically safe
container filled with liquid nitrogen
Preparation:
Soften
cheese. Combine
milk, cream cheese, coffee, water, sugar, butter, chocolate syrup,
Grand
Marnier, the 4 tablespoons of Kahlua, and whipping cream and
mix with electric beater until smooth. Chill for two to four hours.
Whip
breasts with horsehair
whip until pink using light to moderate strokes.
Place
cream mixture
into a pastry bag and squeeze a thin coat evenly onto breasts (hand
application
is also acceptable).
Thoroughly
massage
cream mixture into breasts. Deep massage of the whites of the
breasts
using the fingertips, and hard, pinching massage of the nipples and
aureoles
with the pads of the fingers work well. Repeat the process until
absorption stops.
Refill
breasts with Kahlua.
Using
dental floss,
bind breasts into a tubular shape. Begin by tying each tightly at
the base then squeeze the breasts and wrap the floss tightly around
them
in an upward spiral. Tie the cord off before the breast begins to
taper to the tip.
Place
both breasts inside styrofoam container filled with dry ice and freeze
several hours until breasts are solid OR carefully dip breasts
individually into liquid nitrogen. Avoid spilling or splashing.
Once
breasts are frozen solid, remove the floss, top
with
a generous mounds of whipped cream and garnish with one maraschino
cherry
pinned into each nipple.
|
FLAVORED FROZEN NIPPLE
BALLS
Ingredients:
- 2 breasts
- 1/2 cup of liquid flavoring - such as:
- Grenadine
- Flavored liquor
- Kahlua
- Mike's Hard Lemonade,
- Fruit liqueurs, etc.
- Oils
- Peppermint
- Cinnamon, etc.
- Liquid Jell-O
- Chocolate milk, and so on
|
An incredibly juicy,
chilled version
of Flavored
Frozen Nipple Balls
|
Special equipment:
- Unflavored dental floss
- Hypodermic syringe
These tasty treats are
delicious added as a part of any other dessert recipe or by
themselves. They're versatile, simple to fix and, unlike
full-breast recipes, make for a quick addition to a nooner or other
spur of the moment tryst. Though the recipe calls for these to
be frozen, they can be eaten at room temperature or chilled, and can
also be prepared without balling the nipple and aureoles for a more
natural-looking romp.
Using your fingers, stretch the nipple and aureole up and then wrap a
length of dental floss several times very tightly around the edge of
the aureole, nearest the white. Tie it off with a firm, secure
knot and release the nipple. If done right, the nipple and
aureole will form an appetizing ball that will already be
darkening. Tied properly, the ball should turn a dark shade of
purple very quickly.
Inject the refrigerated flavor of your choice liberally throughout the
nipple ball, moving the syringe to several locations to insure the
entire ball is flavored. Once saturated, the liquid should flow
or bubble out of the tip of the nipple.
Flash freeze the balls by dipping them into liquid nitrogen, or simply
chill them with dry ice. |
