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DARKER PLEASURES DESSERTS
RECIPES BY MATT NICHOLSON|
Matt Nicholson is the Publisher of Darker Pleasures, the Internet's only e-zine that focuses on breast bondage and tit torture. You can find this article -- fully illustrated with high quality photographs instead of the art miniatures -- plus the photo galleries they came from, the full-sized, original art, and over 20,000 other original photographs, stories, video clips, and much more erotic breast and nipple torture, when you subscribe to Darker Pleasures.
Because of the number of requests that I’ve had for the recipe used in my story, Crème Brulee, I’ve written not only that recipe, but a few others for everyone to fantasize about and drool over. I bet you didn't know I was a real chef, now did you? While breezing through this hoot of a writing exercise, I was going to include a "Serving suggestions:" section in each recipe. In them, I planned on detailing how each dessert should be served. But someone pointed out that not everyone's fantasies would agree. Some folks might fantasize about biting into a ripe Grenadine Candied Breast with the unbridled enthusiasm of a kid at the fair, crunching into a Peanut Buttered Nipple Smores like they did during camping trips gone by, or taking a fondue fork straight to the dark blueberry nipple that tops the Strawberry-Rhubarb Glazed Breasts. Others might rather imagine playfully licking and nibbling their way around the "2 breasts in recline." So, I elected to leave the serving suggestions to your imagination. Being the King of Culinary Breast Fantasy that I am, however, I recognize the incredible temptation these “desserts” offer. Because of that, each recipe includes a section called “Breasts on a budget” that offers suggestions for substitutions that make these desserts fun for everyone regardless of their place on the culinary breast fantasy spectrum. I call these sections “Breasts on a budget,” not because the substitutions will necessarily save you money on ingredients or equipment, but because they may well save you medical and legal expenses. Though I heartily endorse letting your fantasies run wild, reality suggest that I'd obviously not recommend deep-freezing or char-broiling anyone’s breasts.
Now. . . Bon Appetite. ~Matt Nicholson~ CREME BRULEED BREASTS WITH BERRIES Ingredients: 2 breasts in recline, size to taste, tipped with nipples and aureoles inclined toward hardening 1/2 cups
whipping cream 2 cups
mixed berries
(such as raspberries, blueberries, and sliced strawberries)
Special equipment: Dry ice
Preparation: Mix 2 tablespoons of brown of sugar with ½ cup distilled water. Heat on burner until sugar is thoroughly melted. Remove from burner. Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Chill nipples and aureoles with dry ice until hard, brushing just above the flesh to avoid burning (wear gloves to avoid the same on your fingers). Fill syringe with sugar marinade and inject into nipple and aureole. Make injections about 1/2” apart around aureole and directly into nipple. Don’t skimp on this procedure. The more liquid that is injected, the more flavorful the dessert will be. Place cream in heavy medium saucepan. Scrape in seeds from vanilla bean; add bean. Bring to simmer over medium heat. Whisk yolks and 1/3 cup sugar in medium metal bowl to blend. Set bowl over saucepan of simmering water (do not allow bowl to touch water). Whisk vigorously until yolk mixture is pale yellow and hot to touch, about 3 minutes. Gradually whisk in hot cream mixture; discard vanilla bean. Whip breasts with horsehair whip until pink, light to moderate strokes. Place cream mixture into a pastry bag and squeeze a thin coat evenly onto breasts (hand application is also acceptable). Thoroughly massage cream mixture into the whites of the breast. Deep massage of the whites of the breasts using the fingertips and hard, pinching massage of the flesh with the pads of the fingers both work well. If the pores were opened well during whisking, and the breasts absorb well, repeat the process until absorption stops. As with the marinade injection, the more cream the breasts absorb, the more flavorful they will be. Bake breasts with a baking lamp until glistening, three to five minutes. Depending on the absorption, breast should be pink to pinkish-red. Re-chill nipples and aureoles. Sprinkle sugar atop each breast, adding extra to the nipples and aureoles. With a caramelizing torch, flame sugar until it just starts to caramelize, moving flame evenly for browning, about 2 minutes per breast. Let cool. Meanwhile, toss berries, brown sugar, and raspberry liqueur, if desired, in large bowl. Spoon berry mixture atop breasts and serve immediately. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: Substitute regular ice for dry ice and brush directly onto nipples and aureoles until they’re hard. Pad dry. Instead of injecting sugar marinade, massage brulee crème into the nipples and aureoles with hard pinching and twisting motions using the pads of the fingertips. Substitute a sunlamp for the baking lamp. Replace the caramelizing torch with a fireplace lighter, taking care not to burn the flesh. Makes 2 servings. STRAWBERRY-RHUBARB GLAZED BREASTS WITH CHILLED FRUIT MEDLEY Ingredients: 2 full breasts in recline, C to D cup, suitable for binding, tipped with ½ inch or longer nipples 2 red
apples, cored
and cut into 1 – 1 1/2 inch cubes 4 cups
1/2-inch pieces
fresh rhubarb (from about 1 1/2 pounds) Special equipment: Unflavored
dental floss
or similar strong, thin cord Preparation: Combine rhubarb, strawberries, sugar, 2/3 cup water, and lemon juice in large saucepan. Bring to boil, stirring until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat and simmer until rhubarb is tender, about 9 minutes. Remove from heat; let cool 10 minutes. Pour mixture through strainer set over 4-cup measuring cup, pressing on solids to extract 1 1/2 cups liquid. Return 1 1/2 cups liquid to same saucepan; bring to simmer over medium heat. Whisk cornstarch and 3 tablespoons water to blend in small bowl; add to liquid in saucepan; whisk constantly until mixture boils and thickens, about 6 minutes. Pour glaze into small bowl; chill until cold, about 2 hours. Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Using dental floss, wrap each nipple tightly around the base two or three times, tying it off securely so that the nipples bulge and begin to darken. Once the nipples are securely bound, wrap each breast several times around the base in similar fashion, again making certain that the binding is secure enough that the breasts darken. While the bound breasts and nipples darken and chill, wash, peel and slice the apples, bananas and kiwi as necessary. Thoroughly mix the prepared fruits in a bowl with the mandarin oranges and washed grapes and blueberries. Place the bowl in the refrigerator to chill. Prepare a 10” x 14” rectangular plastic bowl by measuring distance between the bound nipples and cutting circular holes slightly larger than the diameter of each bound breast on the bottom of the bowl. When breasts are a deep red to plum purple in color and nipples are a deep raspberry to blueberry-colored, place the bottom of the cutout bowl over the breasts so that they are inside the upright bowl. Remove the chilled fruit from the refrigerator and pour evenly around and over the breasts. Remove the glaze from the refrigerator and pour over fruit, breasts, and nipples. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: Prepare all fruits, glaze, and cutout bowl prior to binding the breasts and nipples. Use rubber bands instead of floss and bind breasts and nipples lightly. Pour fruit and glaze into cutout bowl while breasts are still light colored to very slightly darkened and nipples are still red. If the breasts begin to deeply darken remove binding and serve remaining fruit on unbound breasts. Makes 2 servings. TRIPLE-CHERRY BREASTS JUBILEE Ingredients: 2 breasts in recline, size to taste 1 1-pound
bag frozen
dark sweet cherries, thawed Special equipment: 10” x 14” rectangular plastic bowl, cut as described in preparation Preparation: Place sieve over bowl. Add thawed cherries; let drain. Pour drained juices into heavy medium skillet (set cherries aside). Mix 2 cups cherry juice, dried cherries and sugar into same skillet. Scrape in seeds from vanilla bean; add bean. Boil sauce until reduced to 1 1/2 cups, stirring occasionally, about 12 minutes. Mix arrowroot with remaining 1 tablespoon juice in small bowl. Whisk into sauce. Boil until thickened, about 1 minute. Discard vanilla bean. Mix in drained cherries and orange peel. Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Prepare a 10” x 14” rectangular plastic bowl by measuring distance between the nipples and cutting circular holes slightly larger than the diameter of each breast on the bottom of the bowl. Place the bottom of the cutout bowl over the breasts so that they are inside the upright bowl. Scoop ice cream into cutout bowl, around and over the breasts. Spoon sauce over breasts and ice cream. Heat kirsch in skillet over low heat. Remove from heat. Carefully ignite kirsch with match. Pour flaming liquor over all. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: Instead of pouring sauce over breasts and ice cream and then topping with the flaming kirsch, leave the sauce in the saucepan. Pour flaming kirsch over sauce and allow to cool until the temperature of the sauce/kirsh mixture is reduced. Pour warm sauce over breasts and ice cream. Makes 6 servings. PEANUT BUTTERED NIPPLE SMORES Ingredients: 2 breasts in recline, tipped with thick nipples and aureoles 4 large
roasting marshmallows Special equipment: 2 6”
stainless steel
skewers Preparation: Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Generously coat each nipple and aureole with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter each. Using a sharp 6” stainless steel skewer, thread 1/ 4 of the chocolate bar, or one piece of chunk chocolate onto skewer. Follow that with one marshmallow. Next run the skewer through the thick of one aureole at the base of the nipple. Follow with another marshmallow and another piece of chocolate. Repeat the same procedure on the opposite breast. Roast with a cooking torch until the insides of the marshmallows become molten and the outsides are brown and the chocolate has softened. If darker marshmallow skins are desired, continue to roast until marshmallows are charred to taste. Using 1/4 – 1/2 of a graham cracker on each side of chocolate, sandwich the chocolate, marshmallows, peanut butter and aureole/nipple together. Hold the smore together and slide the skewer out. Adjust the graham cracker down to better sandwich the dessert. Repeat on the opposite side. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: If the nipples are surgically pre-pierced, use a thinner, sterilized skewer and substitute a fireplace lighter for the cooking torch, taking care not to burn the nipples. If the nipples are not pierced, bind the nipples and areola with a rubber band so that it forms a ball of meat and slide the skewers through that, or tie the skewers tighty in to place with floss. Or. . . forego the skewers and substitute warm to moderately hot marshmallow crème for the marshmallows and/or and warm to moderately hot chocolate syrup for the chocolate bar/chunks, then crush the graham cracker and sprinkle it over all. Or. . . use any combination of solid marshmallows and chocolate or creamed marshmallows and chocolate to taste. Makes 2 servings. GRENADINE CANDIED BREASTS Ingedients: 2 full breasts, C or D cup 2 cups
granulated sugar Special equipment: Unflavored dental floss, or similar strong, thin cord Preparation: Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Bind the breasts tightly at the base with dental floss so that the nipples and aureoles are stretched tight and breasts begin to color. Combine the sugar, grenadine, and light corn syrup in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Stir until the sugar is dissolved, brushing down any crystals on the sides of the pan with a pastry brush dipped in warm water. When the sugar is dissolved, bring to a boil until the syrup reaches 285°F on a candy thermometer, the soft-crack stage. Set the pan over – not in – boiling water. Working quickly, dip the breasts, one at a time, into the melted candy, coating each evenly with the glaze. When you have coated each breast once, repeat the process. Serve at room temperature. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: Bind
breasts lightly
with cord or rubber band Makes 2 servings. ANGEL FOOD BREASTS WITH HOT FRUIT COMPOTE Ingredients: 2 full breasts in recline, C to D cup 1 cup
water 1 1/2
cups egg whites
(11 to 12 large eggs) Preparation: Let egg whites stand in bowl of a standing electric mixer at room temperature about one hour before making cake. (They should be about 60°F, slightly below room temperature.) Set oven rack in lower third of oven and preheat oven to 350°F. Sift together confectioners sugar, flour, and salt onto a sheet of wax paper using a triple sifter or fine sieve. Beat whites in mixer until frothy. Add cream of tartar and beat at medium speed until they form soft peaks. Add granulated sugar gradually, beating, and continue beating just until whites are thickened and form soft, droopy peaks. Beat in vanilla. Sprinkle one fourth of sifted dry ingredients over whites and fold in with a rubber spatula gently but thoroughly. Fold in remaining dry ingredients, one third at a time. Gently pour batter evenly into two ungreased 7’ tube pans with removable bottoms and bake until top is light golden, cake retracts a bit from pan and springs back when touched lightly, and a tester comes out clean, 40 to 45 minutes. Invert pan onto neck of an empty wine bottle or a large metal funnel and cool cake completely. To remove cake from pan, run tip of a long, narrow knife between outer edge of cake and pan. Tilt cake pan on its side and gently tap bottom edge against counter. Rotate pan, tapping and turning a few more times, until cake appears free. Cover pan with a metal rack or cardboard round and invert, tapping pan firmly to loosen cake. Lift pan from cake. Carve a cone from the center of each cake roughly equivalent to the shape of each breast and set aside. Prepare the compote by combining 1 cup water, Port, sugar, cinnamon sticks, and ginger in heavy medium saucepan. Bring to boil over high heat, stirring until sugar dissolves. Add fruit. Reduce heat to medium. Simmer until fruit is tender and syrup thickens slightly, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Invert each cake so that they fit over the breasts. Carve out additional cake as necessary to allow the tip of the breasts, to approximately one inch outside the aureoles, to be exposed so that the inside edges of the cutout form a bowl around the exposed breast. Fill the cutout areas with the hot compote and then cover the angel food cake with the remainder. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: Allow the compote to cool below 120 degrees (49 degrees centigrade) or, for a chilled dessert, cover and chill for at least 4 hours before baking the cake. Makes 4 to 6 servings. KAHLUA MOUSSE BREASTCICLES Ingredients: 2 full breasts in recline, C cup or larger 14 ounces
sweetened
condensed milk 1 can
aerosol whipped
cream Special equipment: Unflavored
dental floss,
or similar strong, thin cord Preparation: Cut two pieces of cheesecloth, each wide enough to cover the length of the wrapped breast from the base of the breast to the edge of the aureole and long enough to circle the breast at least twice. Pour all but 4 tablespoons of the Kahlua into a bowl and soak the cheesecloth thoroughly. Place cheesecloth in a long rectangular pan and freeze in deep freeze. Soften cheese. Combine milk, cream cheese, coffee, water, sugar, butter, chocolate syrup, Grand Marnier, the remaining 4 tablespoons of Kahlua, and whipping cream and mix with electric beater until smooth. Chill for two to four hours. Remove any fine hair by shaving both breasts entirely using plain, unscented shaving cream and a sharp razor then scrub with a coarse sponge or abrasive pad. Rinse thoroughly with a wet cloth. Whip breasts with horsehair whip until pink, light to moderate strokes. Place cream mixture into a pastry bag and squeeze a thin coat evenly onto breasts (hand application is also acceptable). Thoroughly massage cream mixture into breasts. Deep massage of the whites of the breasts using the fingertips, and hard, pinching massage of the nipples and aureoles with the pads of the fingers work well. Repeat the process until absorption stops. Using dental floss, bind breasts into a tubular shape. Begin by tying each tightly at the base then squeeze the breasts and wrap the floss tightly around them in an upward spiral. Tie the cord off before the breast begins to taper to the tip. Place a coffee can over each breast and seal to the chest with duct tape. Fill each can with three cups of ice (more or less as necessary to cover the breasts). Let chill. Once breasts are thoroughly chilled, remove cans, tape and ice and discard. Remove frozen cheesecloth from freezer and wrap individually around the breasts. Tie in place by wrapping with dental floss. Top breast tips with a generous mounds of whipped cream and garnish with one maraschino cherry pinned into each nipple. *Breasts on a budget – Consider the following substitutes: After massaging chilled Kahlua cream into the breasts, wrap breasts lightly at the base with cord or rubber bands. Omit the breast chilling and cheesecloth wrap. Top with a generous mound of whipped cream, and a maraschino cherry. Drink liquid Kahlua on the side. Makes two servings. |
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