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In my somewhat illustrious career as a merchant of entertaining breast punishment through Darker Pleasures, I’ve learned a lot about the "thou shalts" and "thou shouldn'ts" of tit torture.  Many of them I've learned through trial and error, while others I've only had the luxury of reading about.  In short, I've learned boat loads of information about safely tormenting titties, and I know just as much about “Who gives a damn, they belong to me and I’ll break them if I want to” tit torture. 

Thanks to Darker Pleasures' first model, the beautiful Christine Dannemont, and her bodacious tatas, I’ve had tons of hands-on, teeth-on, yard tool-on, kitchen cutlery-on, hair accessory-on, and gadgets-yet-to-be-
patented-on practice in the fine art of breast and nipple torment.  I've probably written, photographed, and scripted more breast bondage and tit torture scenes than most men have lost socks in the black holes that haunt clothes dryers.

Oh, one other thing before I move on to the funner stuff.  Though The Breast Punishment Primer is based on reliable and sometimes scientific information, and I've tried my dangedest to make it useful and informative, this is all off the record, folks.  Despite my credentials in Internet webmaster breast torture website circles, I still claim only a layman’s expertise.  What I won't claim is any responsibility what-so-ever for what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom, office kitchen, S.U.V., back yard, dungeon or secret
outdoor get-a-way.

Just a little legal disclaimer to satisfy our attorneys.

Now, no thorough analysis of breast punishment would be complete without some history.  Originally, the pages that begin this newest version of my little primer were published in a separate article called, "Toys for Tits."  After writing the Wikipedia article, I decided I'd combine the two and make one comprehensive primer.  So, to start off we'll take a look at tit torture the way it began, sometime around creation...

In the Beginning...

From the teachings of Breasticus as transcribed by Matthew Nicholson...

In the beginning, there was man and woman, and she was exquisite of form and a splendor to behold, and he was full of hormone and became immediately smitten by her gorgeousness and was verily aroused and his member did standeth upright most prominently.

And it was good.

And the creator named the woman ‘Woman and the man ‘Man’, so as not to cause confusion so early in creation.  And He did name all their body parts each in their own fashion.  And the creator saw that Man was particularly attracted to certain body parts that were attached to Woman, and they were named breasts, otherwise known as tits, formally known as bosoms.  And verily the knockers were tipped with soft rose-colored jewels that became hard and bumpy when they were met with chill or verily excited, and they were named the nipples and the areola, and they dideth become pert.

And it was even better.

And on the second day the serpent, he did rise.  And pointing Man to Woman's apples, the serpent did suggesting they would be verily succulent to eat and to bite most enthusiastically.  And Man was sorely tempted, but failed to yield until Woman, after cahootizing with the serpent, did offer her apples unto Man.  Such temptation overcame Man, and Man and Woman did cavort.  And in cavorting, they did have a mighty explosion, which was named Orgasm.  And unto them didst come more cavorting both mighty and as often as humanly possible.

And it was fantastic.

On the third day, the Creator sent an angel to smite Man with a wicked sword and expel Man and Woman from the garden.  And lo, the animals could finally have sleep.  Later on the third day, while taking brief respite from more mighty cavortion, Man did watch Woman’s bosoms rise and fall and jiggleth with all manner of temptation.  Again the serpent, he did rise, and again point Man to Woman's apples and did remind Man of their succulentness, telling Man that they would be sweet beyond the spit of the honey bee if Man did tenderize them most readily.  Being full with the memory of their cavortizing, Man did do as the serpent bade and quietly tied Woman’s wrists with the vine of the grape, so as not to disturb her slumberings.  Man did then take the branches of the willow times the fingers of his hands and did smite Woman's breasts most swiftly, causing them to sting mightily.  And the breasts bounced major painfully and then there was Welts.

And a loud cry was heard throughout the Earth as Woman, being without knowledge of the serpent's words, did struggle mightily against the vine of the grape, causing Woman's bosoms to heave and the nipples to sticketh out to the sky and the thighs to part.  And Man, seeing that Woman was as helpless as the newborn antelope trapped before a stampeding heard of rabid mercenary elephants, did become endowed like a granite shaft, and did dive face first, partaking greedily of the pert nipples, and did chew unto the apples of temptation, causing torment unto them by all manner of brutal bitings, pinchings, and pullings, making Woman struggle and moan, and become wet as the great seas during a summer monsoon after a hurricane.  Being now able to cut the rock of the earth with his shaft, Man then did cleave Woman most purposefully, and there was a great cry and unto both they did orgasm most loud.  And it was named tit torture.

And it was incredible beyond all words.

On the fourth, fifth, sixth, and most of the seventh day, Man did more of the same, using all manner of implements to maketh Woman breasts and nipples to become like embers in the hottest forge, and her wrists to chafe like the great oaks bound by something that binds great oaks, and her loins to drip like the mighty rivers at high tide, and his diamond shaft to become like the yo-yo, verily rising up and down.  And at the very end of the seventh day they did rest, being exhausted beyond the alpha, gamma and zeta.

And it was incredibly far beyond incredible beyond all words.  Amen!

You wouldn't believe I made all that up, would you?  Convincing, wasn't it?  Actually, history doesn't give us much information about what the tit torturers of the pre-historic or early biblical time used to ply their trade. To the best of my knowledge, there haven't been any archeological digs that have unearthed ancient caches of nipple clamps, tit floggers or breast suction devices.  While those of us with some imagination might be able to find a use for an old granite mortar and pestle or the  occasional busted shard of pottery, no one has ever found out if they were used for anything besides grinding grain or being part of a whole pot.  Although there are many assumed or actual references to bondage, sadism (although it wouldn't be called that for awhile), and other kinky sex practices that date all the way back to the Ice Age, specific instances of breast bondage or tit torture went undocumented.

While I'd like to think we have pre-historic ancestors as ingeniously kinky as we are, the first real relics we've been able to come up with that we can actually attribute to breast tormenting came far later than Genesis (for you Creationist types out there) or the Cro-Magnon man (for you big fish eating the little fish folks). Mallanaga Vastyayana wrote a book that became much better known than his name sometime around 300 B.C.  Some folks might recognize The Kama Sutra - acknowledged as the first book to discuss S/M practices and guidelines - as the first reference to tit torture.  It acknowledged that pinching, biting, and beating certain body parts was hunky dory provided the torturee gave consent, and even name all the different kinds of bites and scratches.

When five marks with the nails are made close to one another near the nipple of the breast, it is called 'the jump of a hare'.

The curved mark with the nails, which is impressed on the neck and the breasts, is called the 'half moon'.

The biting, which consists of unequal risings in a circle, and which comes from the space between the teeth, is called the 'broken cloud'. This is impressed on the breasts.

The biting, which consists of many broad rows of marks near to one another, and with red intervals, is called the 'biting of a boar'. This is impressed on the breasts and the shoulders; and these two last modes of biting are peculiar to persons of intense passion.

...the pinchers on the breasts... are peculiar to the people of the southern countries, and the marks caused by them are seen on the breasts of their women.  They are local peculiarities, but Vatsyayana is of opinion that the practice of them is painful, barbarous, and base, and quite unworthy of imitation.

It's too bad about that last one.  I was holding out high hopes for old Mallanaga.  But since I have to admit to being pretty much of a 'biting of a boar' kinda guy, myself, I can forgive him.  Besides the Kama Sutra, most every other reference to anything kinky had to do with regular, everyday spanking.  What's more, it was almost always with guys, and very frequently with guys flogging other guys.  I guess that would probably not be considered "everyday," but it's definitely not what I'm here to talk about. 

So, from here we move on to...

                The Bronze Age, or the "Thank God There Are Plenty of Women to Go Around" Era

It was well after the use of sticks and fire by the natives that mankind moved into what I call "The Bronze Age of Tit Torture".  Instead of clubbing, roasting, biting, or using the occasional broken shard of pottery to torture a fine pair of tits, mankind began developing and adapting tools just for the occasion.  Unlike today's more enlightened times, however, their indulgences had little to do with consent, and, unfortunately for the ladies, this first major breakthrough in the quest to make the perfect breast torture omelet resulted in a whole lot of broken eggs. In the Bronze Age we'll see that, as is often the case, the government and the clergy teamed up to direct the show with no real regard for the best interest of their constituents.  The more things change, huh?

Anyway, by the time the Bronze Age began, torturing titties for pleasure was seen as heretical perversion.  In fact, even admitting you did anything enjoyable with breasts was considered the work of the devil.  When you get down to it, pretty much even admitting that you had breasts was awfully dangerous.  With all this evil running amuck, and because there were always people willing to donate their lives to its eradication, the Spanish Inquisition was born. There are about a bazillion articles written about the Inquisition, which began in the mid 1400s.  While I try to research my articles, at least to the point that they sound like I know what I'm talking about, I'm not getting into the whys and wherefores of the Spanish Inquisition or the Crusades.  Let's just say that a bunch of folks, typically men, made the claim that the world was smothered in

devil's witches that needed to be dealt with.

Of course, no one ever admitted to being a witch.  After all, what good would come of that?  So the confession was generally tortured out of people, between 600,000 and 9 million of them, the majority being women -- for their own good, of course.  And when it came to coercing women witches, it was understood  that a good tit torturing would generally bring about a good confession.

(Continued in The Breast Punishment Primer - Part 2)